1. Get your sh*t together. For real. Parenthood is going to rock your mental health and nervous system regulation. And for at least the first three years of your child's life, they aren't able to regulate their emotions. So, they need you to regulate yours, so they can develop appropriately. Depression and anxiety are rampant in our current society. If you are even remotely mentally unstable, I can promise you it will not get better after having a child. I can almost guarantee you, it will get worse, at least sometimes. Past depression is a risk factor for post partum depression. I experienced bouts of postpartum rage in the first two years. It was not something I was expecting, but it made me realize how quickly things can go south for you, your child or your family if you are mentally unwell. So, do whatever you can to ensure you are mentally well and have good resources for nervous system regulation ASAP.

2. All of your relationships will change. All of them. With your spouse, with your parents, with your siblings, with your friends, with your colleagues, with strangers, with yourself. Becoming a parent changes your perspective on life. Your mornings will change, your evenings will change, where you go our to eat will change. It's an entire lifestyle change. Some of it you will love and cherish and some of it you will resent. You will develop new and different relationships, not better, not worse, just different. It's okay.

3. Parenthood is one giant paradox. In the same day, afternoon, hour you will feel like the best parent ever and then feel like the worst. Your child will be so cute and adorable and then you want to shake them because you are so frustrated (but, don't!). You will love it and then you will wonder what the heck you were thinking. You will love your current life and then fondly reminisce of your former life. You will be ready to scream because they won't go the f to sleep and then they fall asleep and are the most adorable thing in the world. Your spouse will be the most amazing person in the world and then you will be contemplating a divorce. It's a rollercoaster. The highs are high and the lows are low.

4. You need way less than you think. The main thing you need is help. Real people on a regular basis. Humans were not designed to raise children on their own. That is why it is so hard. Let anyone and everyone you trust help. Let them feed you. Let them hold your baby so you can shower and nap. Let them take your children to the park. You will also need something so the baby can eat. I'm a huge fan of breastfeeding. While it can be challenging to get going, it is a cheat code for everything in those first few years of life. Crying baby? Nurse. Tired baby? Nurse. Sad baby? Nurse. If you do not breast feed, you'll need things for pumping or formula feeding. You'll need quite a bit more stuff, but not that much once you find a bottle and/or formula that works for you. I highly recommend getting a baby carrier. Even 2 or 3 so you can keep spares in your car or when your baby pukes (or poops) in it. You'll need a car seat. Don't carry your baby around in it, though. Just use it for the car. Carry them in their baby carrier or in your arms. It's way better for their development. Diapers, blankets, burp cloths. Maybe some Vitamin D or probiotics. A few books so you can say something different to your baby. But really, you can just read them whatever you want to read. Everything else is just for you. Food and support so you can sleep and eat and shower. The rest is just clutter.

5. You will never "go back" to your body, life, whatever. You will only go forward. Through birth, you don't just have a new baby human. As parents, you also become new. There's no going back. Your hormones will change, your brain changes, your body changes. It's okay to miss what you had before. But, don't think of yourself as going "back" to anything. Move forward into the new you. Take advantage of this growth and become what you need to become. It's scary, it's exciting, but it's also you. The new you.

6. Prepare more for your postpartum than your labor and delivery. The time you spend in labor will be somewhere around 24 hours. Give or take. Postpartum is forever. Literally. Take time to figure out what your new household tasks will be and divide appropriately. Talk to other new parents about their trouble spots and what they would do differently. Meal prep. Think of ways you can prepare your life to make it a bit easier after baby comes. This will be trial and error and changes will need to be made as you go, but it's worth thinking about now.

7. Create your village. There are a few people who you'll want on speed dial, because when things go south with a newborn, it feels like an emergency. Even if it's not. Make these connections before you have your baby. Then you don't have to panic search when you really do need them. Regardless how you decide to feed, you'll want lactation support. You will want a chiropractor, especially one who specialized in pediatric care. A cranial sacral therapist. A close friend. Bonus if it's another mom and she lives within walking distance. A good alternative would be a postpartum doula. Anyone you think you might need, get it organized now.

8. You are the expert of your child. You. Not your doctor. Not a TikTok influencer. Not your mom. Not your mother in law. YOU. You know what is normal and what is not. And if you don't, educate yourself. If you think you need a second (or third) opinion, get one. Trust your gut. Make your decisions out of education and trust and not fear. I love what the Down to Birth podcast says: "Hear everyone and listen to yourself."

You got this, parents!